My boys....

I just finished reading an interesting article in Newsweek called "The Trouble with Boys" by Peg Tyre.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10965522/site/newsweek/

My mind is spinning -- I am having difficulty processing it all. I guess the problem with ME is that I am experiencing a personal struggle between my inner feminist (aren't we all the same?) and the fact that I am a mother of two boys. The article highlights the differences in boys and girls -- in their education and in their perceptions, often to the detriment of boys.

In elementary school, boys are two times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with learning disabilities and twice as likely to be placed in special-education classes.

... the article goes on to discuss the very simple, yet very distinct differences between boys and girls. It notes that schools are getting rid of things that boys need -- recess, PE, sports programs, and even the teacher student ratio is greatly changing. Our education system is "teaching to the test" -- academic records and standardized testing directly affects school ratings and funding, therefore the teachers are told what to teach, how to teach, and if you fall behind "catch up on your own time." The problem is, according to the article, is that boys are biologically, developmentally and psychologically different from girls and they don't respond well to this type of education system that requires long periods of sitting idle and learning, vs. the hands on approach.

I've long worried about my children...I'm sure in the same way every mother does. I pray that they succeed in everything they set out to do. I pray that I acknowledge that their dreams and personal successes may very well be different than what I wish for them. But, I also know how important education is -- starting NOW and ending, well, hopefully after a minimum of 16 years in school. It's simply the fastest way to guarantee a positive future, to open doors and to hopefully expand your knowledge. I understand that school needs to be positive place for you to go to and learn and I know that you need to WANT to be there.

So here I sit, with Dane, a 5 1/2 year old boy who is in Kindergarten -- and Cole, 2 3/4 (LOL) who just began preschool. If you are reading my blog, you know my children. You know that they are hardwired to be lunatics. They are high energy, high injury and often mind blowing. (Sure, grandma, they have their sweet moments, but that's not what I'm talking about here.) When Dane started kindergarten I feared that his energy was going to override his ability to learn. He is VERY smart. He can remember things quickly and has a desire to learn, but how long does that overrule the ants in his pants? Most of my fears were dismissed by my family and friends, many saying that he was in KINDERGARTEN and that I was over thinking things. Am I?

For many boys, the trouble starts as young as 5, when they bring to kindergarten a set of physical and mental abilities very different from girls'. As almost any parent knows, most 5-year-old girls are more fluent than boys and can sight-read more words. Boys tend to have better hand-eye coordination, but their fine motor skills are less developed, making it a struggle for some to control a pencil or a paintbrush. Boys are more impulsive than girls; even if they can sit still, many prefer not to at least not for long.

The article continues to discuss the differences in maturity and age between a boy and a girl throughout middle school and high school. Eventually boys to catch up, but there is a time when the brains of girls and boys simply process things differently.

"Boys measure everything they do or say by a single yardstick: does this make me look weak?"

This simple quote shakes me to my core. I try to raise my boys to be sensitive and in touch with their weaknesses and fears. But, I also know that they are both "real boys"...and I can see this being very true. Instead of asking for help, or expressing themselves, I can see them retreat inside and their grades will begin to suffer. So how do I raise my sons to speak up? How do I raise them to be a "man's man" while at the same time keep up with their peers -- ALL of their peers? Is it the luck of the draw -- is their fate based on their schools, their teachers, on me?

One of the most reliable predictors of whether a boy will succeed or fail in high school rests on a single question: does he have a man in his life to look up to?

AHA! We have reprieve! Their dad is very involved. Their dad will teach them that it is okay to fail. It's okay to cry. It's okay to question. Their dad will show them, thru nothing but example, that it's okay to be a man and question things, learn things and take your own time with things. But will the education system, the world, allow my boys to become men? Will they label my children? Will they defeat my children? Or will we all come together, celebrate the differences in boys and girls and let them all evolve into the positive mature and educated adults that we all wish them to be?

ah, parenthood....it gives you ants in your pants.