My therapist told me to do it (and for the record this was written 6/20/08 before the Justin debaucle, before any drama and on my father's birthday)....and rip it up...or not....so here it is...
Hi Joel,
just want to write you....for so many reasons.
I need you to know I still absolutely love you... will always love you. I don't believe for one second we should have gotten divorced. We let life happen...shit happen. I know that we let our relationship go...took it for granted...we both did a lot of things that were just horrible to the other. I made a lot of painful mistakes. I know you still loved me and I actually think some of the things I did were just a PRAYER for you to react. I know you know I still loved you. We simply quit. Pride. Anger. I don't know. It was almost like an undertow...we were swept away quickly -- and forgot we actually KNEW how to swim.
Joel, I am so.............................. sorry.
Goodbye to you now...with love...and hope for your continued happiness....cause I don't want to be angry or vindictive... or hell, even sad....
I am SO happy you are the father to my children....and I believe that you will help me teach them how to love....and how to fight for what they want in this world......especially in light of the fact that we didn't.
May God bless you to be the father you can be -- the father you have been....
and may we all look on.....
~me
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4 comments:
tears
yea ~ this is why things get so damned tough . . . but time flies, actions lie . . . love floats and flies somewhere, but not quite where you want or expect it to be
so hard, dear Kristen
((((hugs))))
I bet that was hard. I hope it helped.
((hugs))
Big hugs, honey.
Love,
Laurie
wow....I'm sure that was very hard to write and to share.....
((((((hugs)))))))
Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you
Robin
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