The clouds have lifted and the sun is brightly shining. My head is clearing as well, and my eyes are beginning to see the beauty of the light. Promise. Hope. Happiness.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

"How can you have children, feel the miracle of it all, and call yourself Pro Choice?"

It's a real question that was posed to me this morning....I guess I don't understand why that is difficult for some people to understand.

Yes, I have had children. I have felt the miracle. But absolutely, 100%, I am pro choice and will continue to speak for, vote for and contribute to the cause.

I know that I will not change anyone's mind about whether or not a woman should have the right to abort their child...it's a deep rooted issue that strikes the very heart of many people. However, taking away a woman's right to be in charge of what happens to her body doesn't seem to be the right answer. To me...THAT is what being Pro-Choice is...it is not being pro-abortion or "kill the babies" in any sense of the word. It is being pro WOMAN, pro CHOICE and anti government and establishment. We have seperation of church and state...yet many of those same people think they have a right to push their "church and state" on a woman's private life. It seems that striking out against the abortion clinics, doctors, and women (and families) going thru this time in their life is like blowing out the candle after the whole house is on fire...(I just came up with that, come on, run with it...) Why aren't all these vigilanties fighting just as hard for sex ed -- for abstinance, for birth control, for knowledge?

Anyway back to the question at hand...and to me (my blog, I can do that...)

There was a time when I had some cells in my uterus that weren't usually there. I, lovingly, called these cells "my baby", and spent much of my time planning the future that they would have, once they finished developing into a human being. I longed for my child to enter this world and bless me with the amazement of life. yet, there were other women, at that exact same time, with similar cells, that planned how to remove those cells as quickly and painlessly as possible. I understand that is difficult for some people to think about -- even to read about -- but it's reality. To put it simply...My choice -- and, their choice.

A common pro-life argument is to seize gleefully on the similarities between the two groups of cells and demand knowing how you could possibly justify the vastly different ways of treating them. If the fetus has no value, they ask, why do pregnant women often feel a close bond with their unborn babies? If it's nothing more than a bunch of cells, then why can a miscarriage be so devastating? Tempting as it is to dismiss this as so much irrelevance, it's worth exploring the apparent contradiction for the insights it can offer into what pro-choice really means.

I truly believe that my baby, in it's primitive stage, was not yet a human being. Even with special care, it would be very unlikely to be capable of surviving on its own if it were to have been removed from my body at an early stage. It needed my bloodstream and my uterus to even have the chance of becoming a human being. Although genetically distinct from me, it is not unreasonable to view it as a part of my body. Sure, a part that could, given the right conditions and time, become a separate person...but until that happened, that child was a part of me.

We all see our bodies differently, and we all give different values to different parts. Some people welcome body hair because of the cultural value it has; others remove it for much the same reasons. A transsexual man could be delighted at the removal of his breasts; a woman with breast cancer is more likely to feel mutilated and devastated. The same body parts, but very different reactions.

The cells inside the uterus are just another example. I gave mine a very high value and watched their development with delight; other women give theirs a low value and couldn't wait to be rid of them. The belief that we both have the right to assign value to our own bodies for ourselves is the essence of being pro-choice. If a woman places a high value on her fetus, removing it against her will is just as unacceptable as forcing a woman to retain, against her will, a fetus she gives a low value to.

This is partly why miscarriage can be so devastating. I have had a miscarriage and I have felt it's affects. But see, I anticipated, with great joy the time when my fetus would become a full-fledged human being. I gave those cells a great deal of value -- they were a dream come true for my husband and I. And, when they stopped growing, I lost a part of myself that I loved and I welcomed, therefore I naturally felt a huge degree of grief.

The contradiction turns out to be no contradiction at all. I cared passionately about my babies; every sign of movement and further growth brought me a little extra joy. But it simply doesn't bring that joy to every woman, and those for whom it would mean nothing but discomfort should be able to make a different choice.

"A world full of wanted children can make a world of difference."

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