Justin - PROs --he loves me, he loves my kids, he loves our country. I adore the fact that he fought for our liberties. He makes me laugh more than anyone else. We have all the same likes and interests (he likes to camp,sing karaoke, play board games, play in the backyard, etc.) He comes from a big family that have mastered a non judging "go with the flow" attitude. And, they love me. His nieces and nephews adore "Uncle J" cause he gets down and plays with them. He works harder than anyone I know -- he actually enjoys getting filthy under a car or dripping sweat working in the backyard, only to come in and help clean the house (we are both semi-clean freaks). His favorite part of almost everyday is our dinners where we sit down as a family, pray, eat and talk about the best and worst part of our days. He is gorgeous -- when I see him walk towards me, I get chills. He is downright goofy, too. He has the ability to walk in the room/restaurant and somehow we end up knowing everyone that works there, who owns the place and get discounts. He makes me feel safe. He gives me a backrub every night. He isn't afraid of showing me his emotions. He tells me he loves the boys and me for life. Last night, the boys both told Justin they loved him (Dane has for a long time -- but he's finally won Cole over.)He helps me out with contributing money -- I couldn't live where I live if it weren't for him... he watches the boys when I have to work. He allows me and my children to remain in our house with stability.
Justin - NEG -- He seems to overcompensate his love for me == making me feel a little worried, like either he's trying to talk himself into it or cover up something. He is impulsive and young. He doesn't know how to pay bills. He brings with him a tremendous amount of bills. He wants a baby -- he is a compulsive liar -- about some dumb stuff...and some not quite so dumb. He gets himself into situations where I am left to pick up the pieces. I start acting like his mom (figuratively) and I hate that. My family will never fully accept him -- or understand him. He's not going to be going anywhere career wise -- tapped out as a mechanic. And he hurts my heart...makes me cry...more than anyone.
So the question lies, "which is better?" or as Melanie asked me, "can you live with those things that are negative forever?" Very good question....cause in many cases I don't see him changing.
But, what I do know is that people are people. Men are men. I plan on sticking it out with Justin -- maybe in part because I am not going to have another relationship fail, possibly because the boys have stability, but mainly because I love him very much. Our counseling with help...but I do believe that you are what you are. I firmly agree that bringing 2 people into the equation will cause friction as some point. I have learned that relationships are never easy -- and you will run into the same problems with everyone....guys and girls alike. I also know that I haven't been very upfront with him either about the people I am talking to -- or more so, where those conversations go...How can I judge him when I'm doing the same thing? I'm living in a glass house with nothing but rocks....
"You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not"Jodi Picoult (My Sister's Keeper)
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