You know what's cool....people can only ruin your mood if you let them...

...I'm in a battle, yet again with the boy's father. I won't go into details because quite frankly, he doesn't deserve my energy. I will just play his game and let him think that he's winning the power play. Honestly, I'm just too tired of that game...tag me out. Uncle. (Why do people say Uncle anyway?) He's a pro at playing with himself anyway.

badum dum dum.

This weekend was so great. Honestly. When the boys are home, my world feels right. Not only that -- but seeing the relationship grow with Justin and the boys really warms my heart. Dane's always been in Justin's corner. Cole is my baby...and gets a little jealous when my attention isn't focused on him. But the other night at dinner, Cole said his favorite part of the day was when Justin got home and we could have dinner all together. (after we pray and start eating, we go around the table telling our favorite part of the day -- and then the least favorite part of the day)... it was awesome.

Sunday, I have to work. Justin ended up getting Dback tix from his brother (thanks, Norm!) and took the boys. First row. (I wish I could figure out how to get the pix off my phone.) I was getting play by play. I laughed because Dane was wearing a football shirt (that he slept in) and poked fun at Justin about it. Then the next pic I got was Dane is a Diamondbacks shirt -- They caught one that they were shooting into the crowd! YEAH....then I got a picture of Cole with a baseball! THEY GOT A BALL!!!! The boys were besides themselves....(another phrase I don't quite understand, but apparently use...LOL) It was so awesome to come home and hear them all so happy. Justin and my boys. Absolutely warms my heart.




Anyway. I am a very lucky girl. I love those three so much. My heart feels safe with them. Finally.

Today, we find out if Cole will need surgery. I'm praying that he doesn't...but, man it's Cole....and that usually means that something dramatic is going to happen. I'm gearing up for surgery but praying it's a futile act.

And, tomorrow, well I have a test. My first test in block 3 -- on Peds. So, I should really sign off and study. I'm feeling pretty good about what I've studied so far. Then will have to concentrate on my presentation and my care plan. I'm just feeling really in control right now and it's a pleasant change. No one can make you feel miserable. Really. And blaming anyone for your mood is really just a cop out --

So, for today...I am a blessed mom of two beautiful children that I think about all the time. (I write them notes every morning and the last one I told them that I think about them every second of every day -- that's 86,400 seconds a day -- Dane thinks I'm a mathematician!) I am blessed with the relationship that I am in -- that we have the ability to overcome anything (and anyone) that comes our way. And, I'm blessed for the family I have -- a mother who holds our family together with her dignity and strength, one brother who is stepping into my dad's shoes and carrying on, one brother who has been sober 60 days (!!!!!YEAH!!!!!!) and is healthier than I've seen him be in years, one sister who has the best outlook on life -- a "Go get em," type of thing -- who lives each day fully and finds beauty in simplicity. And, my other sister, who is stable and strong and listens to me whether or not I'm losing my mind and making no sense. She celebrates with me in the good times and encourages me, pushes me, loves me. I have a job I love -- with people who I truly consider my friends. And, I'm the captain of my own ship. I am bettering my life -- all by myself. I can do this. I am woman hear me ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRR.

Now, I must study. Over and out.