Blowing out the candles
on another birthday cake
Old enough to look back and laugh at my mistakes
Young enough to look at the future and like what I see
My best days are ahead of me

Life hasn't always been a party
but mostly it's been good
There's only one or two things that I'd change if I could
I dont get lost in the past or get stuck in some sad memory yah
My best days are ahead of me

Age is nothing but a number
Sometimes I have to wonder
What does it really mean
But heeeey im still putting it together
I keep getting better
if I keep getting better
I can be whatever I want to be
My best days are ahead of me

Age is nothing but a number
Sometimes I have to wonder
What does it really mean
But heeeey im still putting it together
I keep getting better
if I keep getting better
I can be whatever I want to be
My best days are ahead of me

I've got sunsets to witness
dreams to dance with
beaches to walk on
and lovers to kiss
there's a whole lot of world out there
that I can't wait to see
My best days are ahead of me
My best days are ahead of me

Mr. Danny Gokey performed this song last night on American Idol. Apparently, I was living under a rock and had never heard it before -- I don't listen to the radio. He was so damn cute on American Idol -- first, when he was actually a contestant and then also, last night. OOooooh my crush continues.

His story is a pretty sad one, actually. He auditioned for AI 4 weeks after his wife passed away. She was having a surgery for a congenital heart defect. (I'm growing to really love the heart -- hope it helps me on my test, Monday.) He was great on that show. But, you couldn't help but wonder if some of the love was due to the tragedy he had gone through. Last night was a completely different Gokey. Ha. But he was saying that this song was an anthem for him now -- because he has gone through the rain and sees bright light ahead.

I feel very much the same way. Divorce is very much like a death, in my opinion. In some ways, more difficult (cause you are still hurt so deeply -- and if you have children -- have to maintain contact with them regardless of what they did or continue to do for you.) I also know that it is very different. When my dad passed away, I saw my Mom grieve in a way that just is SO DIFFERENT than what I went through with the divorce. I am lucky that the boys still HAVE Joel. I don't know where I'm going with all of that....

....Justin's Umpa (mom's dad) passed away 20 minutes ago...smack dab in the middle of this post. I'm worried about Justin. He handles death so differently than I do. I see death as a light of some sort -- probably because I see it as an end to this world but only the beginning of an eternal life. It's hard to see Justin take it so so hard. I told him that his Grandpa is at peace now -- but that doesn't make it easier for those left behind. Truth is: we are selfish people and want those that we love to be alive and around forever.

Forever....

....I have trouble with that word.

I am going to go listen to Danny Gokey once again -- I celebrate the life of Justin's Grandfather -- because without him -- I wouldn't have Justin. And without Justin, I wouldn't have "the best days ahead of me....."