Times are tough - I hope that I am tougher.

and in my weakness I write.

It was hard from the start,
the meeting of our hearts
and we tore several lives all apart.

We vowed there and then,
we'd prove to our friends,
that this bond would last til the end.

We loved and we laughed, talked of the future and past,
decided to move forward, together at last.

It was crazy to see,
my kids love him so free,
it all seemed like it was meant to be.

And with the rise of the sun,
a proposal was done
and we vowed to forever be one.

Husband and wife,
no more doubt- no more strife,
this family of mine was for life.

Yet, it was apparent right away,
looking back to those days,
that, with him, things were a deep shade of grey.

I tried to believe, in time he could grow,
with age and with me loving him so.

Yet time and again,
it became such a trend,
mistakes he would beg to amend.

He lies with such ease,
and with each slight breeze,
depending on the face he wants to please.

A lover, a mother, a sister, a brother
the lies go on and we suffer.

Then, "I'm sorry a bunch."
"I love you so much"
"I can't lose your touch"
and I waiver.

Back and forth, forth and back
-on the road, then off track --
ups and downs, all arounds, lies not facts.

He'd push and then pull,
glass half empty/half full,
my eyes slowly being covered with wool.

I fought a hard fight,
to hold onto him tight,
but my heart sensed it wasn't quite right.

And then the end came,
with a confession of blame,
he's a cheater, a liar, a shame.

He said that he loved me,
didn't know why "it was easy"
to do the things that would force him to leave me.

And, being a coward of a man,
told me it was in my hands
and either way that I went, he'd understand.

He left as I asked, with no sign of a fight,
a weak heart that's left me with spite.

I feel defective and deflated,
undermined and understated,
and worst of all stupid and jaded.

My heart is in two,
my boys are confused
and I truly don't know what we will do.

In the blink of an eye,
he's a pompous angry guy
without an answer to "why??"

Yet, I have two boys I adore
a career to open doors
and a life with so much to live for!

I look up and I pray that maybe one day,
I'll understand why it worked out this way.
Until then, one foot will go in front of the other
and I'll accomplish my goals one after the another.

(not my best work, but shootng from the hip)

Missing him.
But knowing it's better this way.
KK+JE
1/2007 - 3/2010