Cancer. It's not a matter of IF someone else I love will die....but moreso, WHEN

It's so scary. I don't know what is happening to the world right now....if it is pollutants, our diets, the sun, perhaps it is just an advance in medical science making detection more efficient and earlier. I suppose I could be positive about that -- more people ARE surviving cancer. But, yet so many are diagnosed and many lose the fight.

My mother-in-law had breast cancer. That's about the closest I've felt it in my immediate family. Many people have had skin cancers removed, too. But cancer always seemed to happen to someone else's family. Yet, now one of my dearest friends mother is dying of ovarian cancer. She is 52. She has been moved into hospice and they are treating her pain. I am consumed with thoughts of her -- and of whom she leaves behind -- her husband, and 3 kids... She's an amazing woman. I haven't come across many people who have NO JUDGEMENT of their neighbor. She is always smiling -- open arms. She challenges you to open yourself to possibilities and live life. My friend, her daughter, said that maybe the truly blessed people on this earth do their work quickly and then are free to leave us. It's an interesting thought. Among all the sadness her death will bring, she still brings a perfect calm and wondrous curiosity to the end.

She is a beautiful woman -- inspiring and strong -- and she is dying of cancer. She's a true patriot, proud of her country and worried about it's future -- and she is dying of cancer. She is a dignified feminist ---determined to give women strength whether they are in the workforce or buried under dirty dishes and even dirtier underwear -- and she is dying of cancer. She is a friend to every single person that she meets -- welcoming them into Harmony House for a beer, a serious talk or a jump on the trampoline -- and she is dying of cancer. She is a hippie -- fun loving, open and free -- not only is she free in her heart and mind, but her spirit soars -- and she is dying of cancer. She is a truly remarkable person, who has found her soul mate and celebrated their love with all their quirks and silly affections and she is dying of cancer. She is a mother -- a quiet and resilient backbone-- always there to help guide her children without pushing them -- and she is dying of cancer.

Cancer will eventually take Sue but her life will go on in all of us...in all she taught us...all she has given. I hate cancer for taking her life -- but I am forever grateful she touched mine.

(Sue passed away at 4:40am on November 4, 2005 with her daughter and her sister at her side)