My horrific experience

I lost Cole.

I lost him.

In the middle of a very populated beach....Gone.

Missing.

I know it's dramatic -- but it was dramatic!

I'm in California with the boys -- just us -- I LOVE it when we get to spend time here -- just us. We have a routine. Wake up, walk to the pier, breakfast, park or games, lunch and then we hit the sand. Today was no exception...

So there we were out at the beach -- searching for sand crabs when I decide to sit down and relax. I say to Dane "stay with your brother and if you need me I'm right there" (literally 20 feet up the sand)...I give Cole the same speech...Ok. Great...

So I walk up, sit down, straighten my towel, put my book away, dust off the sand and look up....

Cole's gone.

Don't panic.... I look around...He's just not there.

So I get up....Walk down there and say "Dane where is your brother?"

"uh, I don't know...Cole? CCCCCOOOOOOLLLLEEEEE!!!"

No where. We stand there for a few minutes.... Nothing. No Where.

We hurry up to the lifeguard...

"I can't find my son"

and he quickly busts in to all the relevant information

He was right there...Right THERE
Cole N*******
He's THREE
Orange, brown and white bathing suit
he won't go in the water...but he is a beginning swimmer
yes, I'm the only guardian here

He tells me that he called it into the main lifeguard station and all lifeguards are on alert. He tells me to walk up and down the beach again and then asks me if I want to leave Dane with him.

"Um, no...I have one missing child already. I'm not leaving my other child with anyone regardless of the color of their bathing suit or the whistle around their neck"

and off we go. It's been 10 minutes.

And we walk, and search and look and search.

I pick up my phone and call Joel. "Cole's missing...MISSING!" A horrible call. "I'm going to throw up." "I can't believe this" "Oh my God, what am I going to do?"

I went up to the jungle gym -- he's not there. We run over and look at the beach house -- he's not there.

My mind is really racing now...

would he go in the water -- is he drowning?
did someone take him
he has to be so scared

We go back to the sand.... Everyone is there doing what they were doing before -- swimming, laughing, playing, sleeping, reading, etc...noone cares that my child is MISSING....and over the loud speaker:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a missing child. Cole Noooooo*****. He's a three year old and is wearing a brown, orange and white bathing suit"

I can't breathe

Looking looking looking

next thing I know the loud speaker is on again

"Cole - station 32" and we start running, literally 300 yards....

And there perched beautifully upon the lifeguard's lap is my beautiful, precious, sweet, loving, innocent and scared BoBo...this man is high fiving my son - and literally guarding my life right there on his lap. cole sees me -- runs to me and says

"mom, I was looking for you (with sand all over his snotty face)"
"baby, I was looking for YOU"
"I was screaming MOOOOOM and a lady asked me if I needed help. We were looking for you when I heard my name on the speaker...I told her "I Cole!"

We couldn't find the lady that was helping my baby...but God bless that woman...she cared. She paid attention. Thank you for her...Thank you.

And as we walk back to gather our shovels and towel...and woman approaches me...a complete stranger...

"Oh you found him...I saw you pacing the beach."
"Yes, he just went the wrong way looking for us"
"Oh, poor thing. Poor mom" and she moves in to hug me...

and there...on a public beach in sunny, crowded San Diego...I started sobbing on this strangers shoulder. Sobbing. Grateful. She understands. Sobbing. Holding tightly to Cole's hand...Dane looking at me scared...I'm sobbing."

I thank the lady and walk away...

with both of my children....blessed and lucky.