Rebuilding -- The Rebuilding Blocks

Well, I'm jumping in with both feet. I deserve to feel better about the losses I've experienced -- specifically, my divorce. In a previous blog, I wrote that I went to a new counselor and that she suggested a book, "Rebuilding" by Bruce Fisher. I got the book and started it. I've only read the first couple chapters, but I think it's going to be helpful. I'm taking my time with it -- armed with a pen to highlight certain things that stick out. It suggests journaling -- which I knew would be powerful for me, as I like to get my thoughts out on paper. It gives a group of questions at the end of each chapter -- I'm going to answer those questions on my blog. If this is too uncomfortable for you -- just skip all the "Rebuilding" blogs.

Without further ado (man, that's fun to say...)

How are you doing? Respond with satisfactory, I need to improve, or unsatisfactory.

1. I have identified the rebuilding blocks that I need to work on.

I need to improve. Well, I did star a few of them that I know will be struggles for me. I starred "Fear: I have Lots of It!," "Friendship: "Where Has Everybody Gone?," "Grief: "There's This Terrible Feeling of Loss," "Transition: "I'm Waking Up and Putting Away my Leftovers" and I put a large question mark over "Relatedness: "Growing Relationships Help Me Rebuild."

2. I understand the adjustment process.

Unsatisfactory

3. I want to begin working thru the adjustment process.

Satisfactory

4. I want to use the pain of this crisis to learn about myself

I need to improve (I'm so scared)

5. I want to use the pain of this crisis as motivation to experience personal growth.Satisfactory

6. If I am reluctant to grow, I will try to understand what feelings are keeping me from growing.

Satisfactory

7. I will keep my thoughts and feelings open to discover any rebuilding blocks that I may be stuck in at the present time.

I need to improve (I'm scared I'll hurt those around me)

8. I have hope and faith that I can rebuild from this crisis and make it into a creative learning experience.

I need to improve (I undoubtedly will grow...I hope it's for the better)

9. I have discussed the rebuilding blocks model of adjustment with friend in order to better understand where I am in the process.

I need to improve. Obviously, I'm getting professional help -- and she led me to this book (I meet with her later today as well)... Interestingly enough, I had a wonderful meaningful talk with my friend Robin this weekend, where I touched on several of the blocks without even knowing it. But, I don't' really have many friends to really talk to about this.

10. I am committed to understanding some of the reasons why my relationship ended.100% Satisfactory

11. If I have children of any age, I will attempt to help them work through their own adjustment process.

I promise to try....I definitely promise to try.