Rebuilding -- Friendship

I was so scared to read this chapter -- because quite frankly, it's very painful for me to discuss.

When I was married, Joel and I had a large circle of friends...

It's interesting, however, looking back at now -- when we were happiest as a couple was when we really didn't need the friendships as much. The times when Joel called in the "family weekends" or "family trips" where we didn't talk to anyone but each other...

Hmmm, maybe I should restate the beginning....

Towards the end of our marriage, when things were rocky already, Joel and I became part of a large circle of friends... Some of these friends I had known virtually my entire life, however, Joel was just "allowed" to break in to the guy group. We were always out with our friends -- and frequently hosted parties, BBQs, get togethers. I was part of a Bunco group; Joel played poker. It was fun and yet quite superficial. My marriage was never perfect -- however, perhaps due to their faults or ours, our group of friends thought we were. When it all came to a head, I truly believe it rocked everyone for different reasons. I don't claim to know what they are -- (although I'm sure anonymous posts will enlighten me) -- I was left to wonder "Where has everyone gone?"

I am very saddened by the lack of unconditional love and support by a few of my girlfriends (again that I have known literally 25+). This chapter offered several reasons why they walked away. I suppose it doesn't really matter where they have gone or why. What matters is that I need to grow new friendships and continue to honor and respect the friends that are walking this walk with me. What that says about their character!!! And, so I have to branch out -- and try hard not to look back and ache again. It's been said that people come into your life for a reason and a season -- and change is ever happening, so I will work to embrace it. I need to learn to not be afraid. I need to learn to risk love and friendship again. I simply need to.

1. I am relating with friends in many new ways since my crisis.

Oh absolutely satisfactory. Everything about me has changed therefore every relationship I have had has too. Some decided to learn to get to know me again and love me for who I am and accept the faults I've made, and others haven't. As for my new friendships, it's refreshing and fun to allow them to know the person I am now. I am divorced. I have two children. I am independent and gaining strength. I am finding my way. I am damaged, perhaps, but still fun...and funny...and worth getting to know.

2. I have at least one life-line friend of the same sex.

Satisfactory.
Kerry. Joy. Robin. Cassidy. Heather. Gina. Becky. Amy. Debbie.

3. I have at least one life-line friend of the opposite sex.

Satisfactory.
Billy. Mike. (and via email, thank you, Darrell)

4. I am satisfied with my present social relationships.

Needs improvement. I'm working on it.

5. I have close friends who know and understand me.

Satisfactory.

6. People seem to enjoy being with me.

Satisfactory. People are still drawn to me, I still have it. LOL

7. I have both single and married friends.

Satisfactory.

8. I have discussed ideas from this book with an important friend.

Satisfactory.
Gina.
Well, and YOU.... if you are reading this blog....unless, well, you are pathetically reading this in an attempt to tell me yet again that you don't care about my life, yet continue to read about it. :-)

9. I communicate frequently about important concerns with a close friend.

Satisfactory.
Kerry.