The Fool desires to achieve great things in life, but does not always anticipate the hard work required. Full of curiosity and searching for answers, the Fool symbolizes a new beginning and endless optimism. He must be careful in the decisions he makes, as his lack of experience is often a hindrance. While others may avoid taking on insurmountable odds, The Fool will attempt to accomplish near impossible goals with almost reckless abandon.

This was my tarot card today. It is semi-fitting. I had a bad day yesterday. I was very disappointed yet again in my brother -- who so clearly has, either a desperate alcohol addiction or simple death wish, most likely a combination of the two -- yet I don't know how to do anything but love him and try to help him.

I cried and screamed on my way home and then pulled into the house. I came in to my Love. He had picked up the boys, the house was cleaned, and he was ready to jump in the car and take them to the Literacy event the school was having. We stopped and rented movies on the way (we got Slumdog Millionaire -- which I've been DYING to see -- and the boys got a movie too) then we went to the event. We decided to divide and conquer. I took Cole into his room -- Justin took Dane...then we met in Dane's room. They were finishing their project and so I just wandered around Dane's room. He had a piece of artwork on the wall -- his most precious thing. He wrote about his baby blanket. It spoke about how it was at "mom and justin's house" and that Piper and Scout love when he puts it on them. It warmed my heart. Then we loaded up -- and stopped for sushi on the way home. MY KIDS ARE SUSHI ADDICTS....went home, put on the boys movie and then decided to watch American Idol (GO DANNY) before we settled into our movie. I fell sound asleep...zzzzzs by 8:30.

Anyway back to the card.... I woke up this morning -- motivated... I have big goals...I will live in a clean house, raise beautifully kind children, finish homework/nursing school, be a significant and important member of my workplace, continue to nurture my relationship, be a rock for those who need a rock and an ear to those who just want to be heard. I want to be a solid friend. I want to be a solid sister and daughter. My laundry will be done. My dogs will be fed and loved. The groceries will be gotten and put away. My yard will be mowed. I vow to return emails. I have a wedding to start planning. So much to do....

...and I think I'm pretty much a damned fool for thinking I can do most of it....or most of it in my time frame, anyway. And that just HAS to be okay.

Slow down, Kristen....

...it's ok to slow down.