Mother's Day was fantastic -- I'm so truly blessed to have the children I do --

and the mother I do -- and all of those around me. We had a really wonderful mother's day. I hope all you mother's out there did as well.

And for today -- I'm set to ponder. My life isn't easy. It's not easy at all right now. But, the truth be told, it's not HARD either. I have to take ownership for the stuff I can control. My money situation didn't create itself. I need to be more vigilant on my spending habits (which means that my favorite bar hang out -- Blue 32 -- is no longer in the picture.) Justin and I need to stay home more. It's better for us as a couple and for our pocketbooks. Our relationship is so far from perfect but it's so so good right now. We started counseling (go VA free counseling -- GO ARMY!) and we have given up all the crazy stuff we use to do. I'm proud of us for working at our relationship. It's not working at "love" -- that is the easy part -- the "relationship" is work. Real work is work. I don't know if the new position is going to work out for sure. I need to weigh the pros and cons. I would MUCH RATHER be solelyt a unit secretary vs a mix match of CNA and HUS -- and the money is much better but the night hours MAY be too difficult (they also may be much better). They just told me they aren't sure that they can guarantee me 37 hours...but do I need 37 hours. They are saying 32 -- but that they will keep me full time - -heck I don't know...

Also, I didn't study enough for block 3. Period. I just couldn't figure out WHEN to study. I'm about to head into Phoenix to meet with my instructor for my "exit interview" which just makes me want to vomit. But, I know what she's going to ask -- and I know what I'm going to say. I'm going to say that I didn't study hard enough. I won't make excuses -- but I will tell her I work full time and have children that need their mother's time. I am not the only one in the class in this predicament -- but it is true. I will also tell her that I was extremely disappointed by the lack of connection with the instructors. I attribute this to many things, and I will have her know that it isn't any one of the personally, however, the styles of teaching -- and all the changes they continued to make -- were very difficult for all of us. And then I will beg, grovel and plea to get right back into block 3... whenever I get in, I will implement changes in my life that will assure me success...not sure what those are yet, but I"ll be thinking about them. And I hope, with so much of my hopefullness that remains that my friends, Gena, Katreen, and Cambria are in my class again...

...to be continued.....